In a recent creative project I've been involved with alongside my favorite British boy, I wrote a scene for a 'film' we're creating. Can't say about what, in fact, I won't say another word on the matter. But for one scene, the main character Lola is asked to give a speech on the following prompt: in your own words, describe what you consider to be the most obvious fault of today’s society, and offer suggestions on how to rectify the situation. I now present you with her dialogue. ATTENTION ROMANTICS: read at your own risk.
Our country’s most potent vice is our senseless obsession with aesthetics. We value appearances over quality to an extent that is just plain embarrassing. Here I am, standing before all of you, and in the 30 seconds you’ve had to check me out you’ve all already formed countless opinions about me. I have no idea what they are, and frankly I couldn’t care less. But the truth is, all we need is a glance of someone or something and like clockwork, a thousand assumptions run rampant in our minds, unhindered and dangerous. Even worse, these assumptions irrevocably clout our opinions of people – first impressions often take a long time to alter or disprove, even when those impressions were based on absolutely nothing but our own convoluted thoughts.
As a result, being the uber smart people we are, we’ve found a way to cut corners – to cheat the system, if you will. To feed into this process, we abandon any desire for real integrity and instead focus on perfecting a first impression, putting up appearances, for as long as it takes to win people over. We all do it, and what’s worse is we’ve even stopped realizing when it happens. The stupid pick up lines you use when you first meet someone at a bar, things anyone with half a brain would never say to anyone they truly know or value, is a ubiquitous example. And although we know it’s all bullshit, we play the game so well that we allow ourselves to fall for it time after time. It’s all part of the plan, the rehearsed interaction between male and female, the appearances we put up so we don’t have to worry about revealing anything unique or intimate that might challenge these societal norms.
This is how we live life, and although I know I do it too, at least I can admit that it’s pathetic and utter crap. However, the one saving grace in this potent mess is the bond that everyone praises as the most important in the world, the one thing that transcends the bullshit and allows us to be genuine and true for the first time – the bond of two people in love. Once you find love, we believe that you immediately jump light years ahead of the rest of the population and engage in real, intimate interactions free of external influence. Suddenly, putting up artificial appearances for your own benefit isn’t necessary, because – what have you? – there’s actually someone in the world who seems to be able to tolerate your lame ass self for exactly what you are. Once that happens, you achieve a feeling of completeness, acceptance, and a genuine well being beyond your wildest dreams. So once we find love, we’ll all be dandy, the sun will shine and we will all hold hands in the shared union of our lives’ fulfillment. Love will save us all!
So for anyone in the audience who actually believed any of that, you can escort yourself out of the room and spend a few minutes pondering how you could have been so incontrovertibly stupid. For all of you hopeless romantics, I know it’s tough at first, but there are some things you can’t dance around, and this is one of them – love doesn’t work, doesn’t last, doesn’t exist. Love isn’t a tangible thing you can measure, there’s no love-o-meter that will tell you “oh, look! You two are officially in true love.” Love is a fabrication created by lonely people who know they cannot achieve a sense of self-fulfillment by themselves. It’s a state of mind used to make hollow, fake people who have lived artificial lives feel better about themselves because, gee wiz, if somebody wants to spend their whole life with me, I can’t be that bad! We judge our self-worth based on how much someone else can tolerate us, and we call this contrived bond “love.” And we sing and dance about it as though it was some never-ending party, one where everyone’s invited! How wonderful! But the truth is, everyone thinks this “love” thing is the only bond that’s free of all the false pretenses, the phony personas we emulate to impress others, and the like. Actually, it’s the opposite. Love is by far the biggest culprit of all. And it’s best that you all see and understand it now before it’s too late.
Let’s consider loves best ally – marriage. If I asked how many people here have divorced parents, almost half the room would have their hands in the air. The proof is in the pudding when it comes to marriage, and the way it’s become the world’s most failed institution. You’ve been told day after day that you need to find a special someone, fall in love, and tie the knot and till death do you part, live every waking second on his or her behalf. But why would we, fallible creatures we are, put ourselves in the position of constant interaction and intimacy with another fallible creature for the rest of our lives? Because of love, we say! When you love someone, these sacrifices don’t hurt, don’t mean anything! So what if we lose every sense of who we are as individuals? Who cares if after years, the passion dies, the feelings fade, and we’re left feigning a sense of commitment and attraction out of some fucked up sense of duty? It’s all in the name of love!
Well, if you’re okay with living an empty life in the name of love, be my guest. But I implore the wise people in the audience to avoid this at all costs, or regret it forever. And you will regret it. Even if you find yourself with someone wonderful, someone who seems to get the real you, someone you are genuinely excited to spend time with and can see yourself caring about down the line, you are not exempt from this untimely fate. I am not saying your feelings aren’t real and shouldn’t be pursued, but I am saying that those feelings will never be enough. If millions of people day after day can look each other in the eye in front of their loved ones and family, and legally proclaim that they will love each other forever, then find themselves arguing over who gets to keep the coffee table once they divorce, you know something is terribly amiss. Why do we put so much faith and so much of our lives in an institution that has a failure rate that is downright pathetic? I don’t know much about poker or gambling, but if I had those kinds of odds staring me down, I would laugh in the dealer’s face, book it out of there and never look back. We are consciously abandoning all common sense to promote something that is just a waste of life, time and effort. We are giving up everything we stand for as individuals to embrace this idea of love that hurts more people, breaks more hearts and screws more people over than anything else in the world. I don’t care if you’re dating the reincarnation of Jesus Christ, no kind of love is worth that feeling of emptiness. Until we learn this, and until we stop basing our lives on this piece of shit idea of love, we will always be those droning, artificial robots that meet and greet each other with rehearsed sayings, act out of a sense of duty rather than individuality, and live based on false pretenses rather than true self-awareness. If you’re into that, by all means, stay the course. But if you want to actually do something with your life, take the reigns in your own hands and die knowing you didn’t back down or compromise for anyone, take my advice. Ditch the rose-tinted glasses already. Grow up, man up, and get up. And join me in saying: Fuck love.
Thank you!
- LAP etc.
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