Things I Firmly and Seriously Believe that Others Probably Don’t…

1) There are only two reasons that people cheat while in a relationship. One is because they want to remind themselves that they are still desirable, because they’re insecure. The other is that they are scared at how much they care about who they’re with, and can’t face their own feelings, so they make foolish decisions. Cheating is forgivable, but not condonable.

2) There’s no way you can love one person every second of every day forever. This doesn’t mean monogamy can’t work, but people need to look at it for what it is. You meet someone you care about and believe you love him or her. You make a commitment to be together, and inevitably you fight, get pissed off at each other, make up, have amazing times, then fight again, etc. During all those moments, you’re constantly falling in and out of love with that person, sometimes even several times a day, depending on the circumstances that exist between you. When you’re at each other’s throats, you’re too preoccupied with the matter at hand to put your love first, so you ignore it and push it back until later. When the matters are resolved, the love resurfaces, and happiness follows. As long as the times you’re in love with that person outnumbers the times you fall out of love with them, you can count on being pretty happy for as long as you’re together. The reason marriages fall apart and people breakup is when they realize that the times they love each other are few and numbered, and are instead shadowed by the times they are too preoccupied with other emotions and situations where love can’t thrive. So, love is not a steady 24/7 ordeal. It’s a constant journey you revisit together all the time.

3) If you seriously feel as though you need someone to survive, the most absolutely important thing you can possibly do for yourself is to get away from them. Feeling that way is unhealthy, dangerous and not conducive to self-growth. You can still have that person in your life, but you must prove to yourself that they are not the core of your existence. Once you are truly happy with yourself, you can be truly happy with someone else. Not one second before.

4) Lying is the biggest mistake you could ever make. Lying comes in many forms, but denying someone’s right to the truth in any way is wrong for two reasons. 1) As coexisting human beings, so much of our knowledge is based on what we have learned from others. If we are lied to, that delicate sense of trust we have for what we learn from each other is shattered, and we become skeptical, lose our sense of wonder, and relinquish our loving bond with the world. 2) The only time people lie is when they’re afraid. I don’t lie to anyone because I don’t fear anyone, simple as that. Those who exhibit a habit of lying are fearful, insecure people who are deathly afraid of how others view them. The truth can be dirty and hurtful, but at least it’s real. Liars lead lives of no value whatsoever.

5) Experiencing different people is such an important part of life. I’m not just talking about sex and love and things of that caliber. You can be in a relationship and still “experience” other people while being committed to someone. Closing off to people is a horrible thing to do, and is as detrimental to you as it is to them. Get to know people. Talk to strangers, branch out, initiate conversations, flirt, have fun, take chances. Stay true to your feelings, but remember that feelings are amorphous. They shift, change, grow, dissolve. Don’t build your entire life on something as fleeting as feelings. Go to sleep knowing that, at the end of each day, you gave the world and all in it a chance to shape you for the better.

6) While it would be nice to think that you can be intimate with people and fool around with no feelings attached, this is rarely the case. Chances are at least one person involved hopes that it will either become something more, or at the very least, hopes that it will reoccur in the future. It would be awesome if two consenting adults could mess around and literally leave it to that, but that pesky thing we talked about, feelings, get in the way. Some people aren’t content with feeling like a one-night stand, and for their own selfish reasons, want the other person to care about them, even if they don’t care much themselves. Others pretend they’re ok with a one-nighter, but have every intention of repeating it in the near future and will happily play along until they get their second dose. So have fun, do sexy things, explore people. But realize they might have a trick or two up their sleeve when it’s all over.

7) There’s no such thing as luck. There is such a thing as a coincidence. When something happens, if the chain of events that occur afterwards are positive, it’s easy to say “wow, I was so lucky to have done that.” The circumstances deceive us into believing that some force outside of our control called luck (and, to some, fate) lead us to this marvelous point in our lives. The truth is, that’s a cop-out. We control every single thing we go through and that happens to us, at least on some level. Sitting around waiting for luck or fate to take hold of our lives is a waste of the influence we have over ourselves in the first place. You make your own luck, and you control your own fate.

8) Everyone says “chicks before dicks” and “bros before hoes,” but at the end of the day, everyone wants to be with the one they care about. It is a universal truth that, when it comes down to the wire, you would more often rather hang out with your boyfriend/girlfriend than your friends. People deny it, but it’s true. Everyone needs time with buddies, because only hanging out with your significant other all the time is obviously stupid. But when you’re going about your day and you think of the person you’d most like to share even the most mundane moments with, your first thought will always be the one you care about or, if you’re lucky enough, the one you love. Our hearts always seek out their companion.

9) If you’re convinced the place you grew up is the best place on earth, think again. Home will always be the most special place in your heart, but it may not be the best place for you to personally thrive. Travel, see the world, meet new people. Don’t be content to remain in the introverted bubble of your hometown before giving other places the chance to bring out the best in you.

10) Your thoughts create your world. Reality is objective. See the world the way you want to, and don’t let someone else alter the beautiful, unique vision you’ve constructed of how you live your life. Love the way only you can. Live the way only you want.


- LAP etc.